Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair

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(517): View more from Michigan

he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.

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(310): View more from California

Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?

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(+61): View more from Australia

he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.

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(310): View more from California

I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass

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(218): View more from Minnesota

After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.

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(850): View more from Florida

If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.

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