Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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