the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
