I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
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I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
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