just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
