Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
