Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
