yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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