I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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