He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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