True but thats because hes a fetus.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize