I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
