He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize