how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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