Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize