Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
