Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
