Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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