There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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