and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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