Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
