normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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