So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
