Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you win again, gameday.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
