I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
