can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
