I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
