I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
