Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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