No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
