Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
