I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
