She said her name was "party"
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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