I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I am naked and annoyed.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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