I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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