I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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