there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
