Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.

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(813): View more from Florida

there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.

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(760): View more from California

Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(608): View more from Wisconsin

They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.

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(714): View more from California

When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.

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(913): View more from Kansas

How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.

(913): View more from Kansas

1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.

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