i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You were trust falling into bushes
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.