he wants to bone in the snuggie
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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