But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
