i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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