it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
