I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
