Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize