We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
