Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
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We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
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