Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
