Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
