I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
