I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
