I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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