Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
