One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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