You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
