Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I think I just got seasick

  (409): View more from Texas

  you're not on a boat

  (408): View more from California

  he has a waterbed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I think I just got seasick (409): you're not on a boat (408): he has a waterbed. http://tfl.nu/239c
  Replies (7) Good night (1458) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar. (678): I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home http://tfl.nu/hat9
  Replies (14) Good night (1555) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right. http://tfl.nu/ax5o
  Replies (6) Good night (4960) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house. http://tfl.nu/g0ik
  Replies (13) Good night (7363) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever http://tfl.nu/aala
  Replies (8) Good night (2715) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba. http://tfl.nu/mbtr
  Replies (7) Good night (2879) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village. http://tfl.nu/2k9f
  Replies (7) Good night (1653) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college http://tfl.nu/yfmf
  Replies (10) Good night (3438) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom. http://tfl.nu/ilht
  Replies (7) Good night (1924) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever http://tfl.nu/7j84
  Replies (22) Good night (3306) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday http://tfl.nu/6bnr
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry. http://tfl.nu/459t
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding http://tfl.nu/cejl
  Replies (3) Good night (1023) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out. http://tfl.nu/obyo
  Replies (4) Good night (260) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head. http://tfl.nu/o46h
  Replies (0) Good night (323) Bad night (153)

Randomize