I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat