i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.