Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.