I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
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I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...