He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
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Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable