soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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