Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
